The Most Romantic Thing


Some people roll their eyes when you mention romance. They don’t consider it serious literature. They probably don’t consider it very important in their relationships. It’s frivolous, right? It’s a box of chocolates and some rose petals.

I don’t think so. I write romances, mostly gay romances, so maybe I’m biased. There was a time when I didn’t believe much in romance, either. But I married a terrifically romantic guy who has convinced me that romance is real. Here’s possibly the most romantic thing he has ever done.

We bought a large glazed pot with a beautiful interior. The interior was so beautiful, in fact, that we chose not to plant anything in it. It sat out on our back porch and looked pretty. One day, I noticed the little dried up husk of a lizard in the pot. I was horrified. I love animals and hated the thought that this little creature had died in agony, trapped in my beautiful pot, unable to climb out the slick sides. I told my husband, in tears, about my grisly discovery.

The next day, I found a strange collection of junk in the pot. Someone (my husband) had made an escape ladder out of stones and sticks. I’ve never loved anyone more than I loved him at that moment. I felt heard, validated, and loved. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

Romance doesn’t have to be awkward poetry and candlelight. It’s about listening to someone you love, making his needs important, and taking action out of love. These things are powerful. They keep our hearts open to the people near us, making our relationships stronger.

So, no, I don’t think there’s anything frivolous about romance. I think it’s vital to a healthy relationship and important to life, itself. I think it’s significant as a genre, as well, and every bit as important as fantasies or mysteries or sci fi or whatever else.

6 thoughts on “The Most Romantic Thing”

  1. Oh wow, seriously this made my heart melt. If I could find a guy like that I’d be winning at life! I was dating someone last year, and after five months I realised he was possibly the most unromantic guy I’d ever dated. But he was ‘a good bet, sensible and had his life together’. I was settling for him, quite clearly. I just remember feeling really sad that this is what real relationships were like. I LOVE romance, it’s all I write, it’s all I think about – yet I was in the most boring relationship of my life with a guy who hadn’t even once complimented me, coloured outside the box, surprised me or bothered to tell me how he felt (I’m not joking, I got nothing from him, no deep and meaningful conversations, no talking about feelings, no declarations of love, nothing, nada, zilch, ZERO). I need to remind myself that there IS someone out there for me, with all the escape ladders (and romance) that I need. Gawd, what a waste of five months. Although I learned not to settle, not ever.

    Liked by 1 person

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